It’s 2012 and the zombie apocalypse is close at hand. We’ve seen the increase in gun sales, the new books, TV shows and movies all telling us that the undead will soon be eating among us. In order to ease our preparation for the upcoming apocalypse many companies have begun to supply us with “Zombie Hunter” products that are designed for the express purpose of zombie killing.
For starters, we need to arm ourselves. Luckily Brownell’s has come out with a line of parts to make sure our ARs and Shotguns are ready to do some zombie hunting! For your AR you can purchase an engraved upper and lower receiver, trigger guard, ejection port cover and yes, even mag release and take down pins. For your shotgun you can purchase the “Zombie Hunter” tactical stock and an engraved extended magazine tube. Because nothing says “Zombie Hunter” like having “Zombie Hunter” written all over your equipment.
Next, we need a back up gun. The obvious choice for a back up gun is going to be the Ruger LCP Zombie Slayer, because at the end of the world we’re all going to pick up 6+1 capacity airweight .380s that say “Zombie Slayer” on the side, because nothing says “Zombie Hunter” like having “Zombie Hunter” written all over your equipment.
Obviously the next step is to get some ammunition for our firearms. Luckily Hornady has developed ammunition specifically for this purpose – Hornady Zombie Max is available in a variety of calibers from 9mm to .308 and 00 buck. Based off of Hornady’s Critical Defense line but “tweaked” specially to penetrate “zombie skin”, the tip of this round is green making it very clear what your purpose is.
Next you will need a knife, obviously. Luckily Ka-Bar has equipped us with an entire line of zombie killing knives including the Zombie Famine Tanto, the Zombie Pestilence Chopper, the Zombie Death Dagger and the Zombie Kharon Tanto Folder. Designed for use in the most “rigorous, unexpected and apocalyptic situations” all the knives in this zombie killing line from Ka-Bar are equipped with bright green handles, making it very clear what your purpose is.
I am going to leave you with one last tip for the upcoming zombie regime apocalypse: if you write “Zombie Hunter” on your forehead with a green sharpie the zombies will see that you are a zombie hunter on their way to eat your brain and will then get scared and run away.
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